Part of embracing the sticky world of self-promotion is having a Twitter account. And Twitter, as I’m sure you well know, is where common sense and rationality go to die.
It makes sense, really. It’s huge. 320 million active users. And only 50% of those are sex spambots trying to get you to sign up to some sort of diet Ashley Maddison website (anonymity 100% guaranteed. Honest, guv).
So you have all of those people shouting at each other in 160 characters or less.
Perhaps the one thing I’ve learnt from Twitter is this: There are a lot of fucking assholes in the world.
A few months back, I found myself in a little fracas with some bloke. Englishman, like me (and despite calling someone on his timeline a ‘paki’, he was adamant that he was not a racist). It was about Brexit, so it was a touchy little subject.
Anyway, do you know the amount of shit I received from him and his weirdly obsessive followers?
Snowflake. Libtard. Triggered.
Hang on a minute. Because you can’t reply with a cohesive argument, you’re relenting to name calling?
Fucking hell. What’s wrong with the world?
So let’s break down the terminology here, because some of this shit is not okay –
Liberal retard. Is it the ’90s still? Are we really using the word retard as an insult? How about Libstic? Liberal Spastic. Let’s just use that instead? Spastic’s okay right? Acceptable?
What’s so bad about being liberal? Surely having tolerance and an open mind are good things?
My friend the Urban Dictionary tells me a snowflake is:
An overly sensitive person that doesn’t take criticism well.
You read Donald Trump’s Twitter recently?
Besides, politics are important. If people weren’t impassioned about shit like that, the entire world would be some sort of totalitarian nightmare. Kind of like The Federation in Blake’s 7 only with worse hair.
Although, interestingly, at the end of the second season of Blake’s 7, the Federation is destroyed by aliens from another galaxy. Probably Muslims.
Anyway, here’s a little clip of Servalan. Just because.
Well that’s nice, ain’t it? You’re comparing a person’s emotional response to something (usually political) to PTSD. Have you ever suffered from PTSD? Perhaps we can sort you out a nice life-changing traumatic event, so you actually know what a ‘trigger’ is, you disgusting fucking asshole.
Now I’m not some sort of hemp-trousered hippie who lives in a commune in Hamburg. I used to wear suit every day and work in a high-rise office block in London’s CBD. I have a fucking portfolio of stocks and shares for Christ’s sake.
There is condescension from the left, just as there is condescension from the right. I once wrote this little line to describe a character:
He was the sort of pious Guardian-reading asshole who would’ve snorted organic cocaine if such a thing existed.
But when I log into Twitter to promote one of my (really quite excellent) short stories and, out of morbid curiosity (can’t help it), I scroll through a slew of dumb insults, I get mad (a triggered librard, I guess you could say).
I’m happy to engage in healthy conversation with people. Debate is wonderful. Slinging names because you’re a fucking idiot who can’t prove a point is a waste of my time.
There’s also a notion that I should just concentrate on writing and shut the hell up about politics.
Don’t alienate your fans, Jack.
I’m entitled to my opinion. Which is this: If you think some pussy grabbing prick who lives in the penthouse of a golden tower in Manhattan is going to save your country and look after the little people, you’re seriously fucking mistaken. It’s like he’s read 1984 and thought it was one of those Dummy’s Guide books.
Over and out.