I have a very lovely friend called Melissa. She’s French, but lives – if you can call it living – in a rented studio above a shop in Nottingham. She works in an independent cinema for fuck all money, pays her taxes and pays off the mortgage for her fat English landlord. A few days ago, she wrote a rather impassioned status update on her Facebook about the UK leaving the EU. Unsurprisingly, she was in the Remain camp. I scrolled through the comments like the backseat voyeur I am – I find reading online spats behind the safety of my iPhone screen strangely thrilling.
Anyway, amongst it all, one chap said he wouldn’t be voting at all. “It’s something I’ve thought very hard about,” he wrote. “I don’t think either side has a compelling argument.”
Mellissa wrote back that while she didn’t agree with his abstinence, she respected his right to an opinion.
I’m not as sweet as Melissa. My opinion is this: If you don’t vote, or vote to leave, you’re either an asshole or you’re an idiot.
The Leave camp have built their case on warped statistics and xenophobia.
“We spend £350m a week,” BoJo bleats. Now, how the fuck a guy who can’t even comb his hair could climb to this lofty position of influence is something I’m still trying to figure out, but one thing’s for sure – £350m is a lot of money. Hey, give me £350m. Just one week of that. That’d set me up nicely.
But when the UK Statistics Society mention that figure is ‘potentially misleading’, you know something’s up…
Here’s a great piece refuting the figure. I’m better off linking rather than rehashing the article like some crap Huffington Post blogger.
Read ‘em? Good.
Lies, damn lies and statistics.
But now we’re talking about money, let’s get down to what will happen if the UK exits the EU… The markets will plummet and the UK will almost certainly be plunged into recession. Many global companies use the UK as their European base. Do you think this will continue if the we leave? Fuck no. Mass exodus. Biblical. They’ll move to Frankfurt or Madrid or Paris or fucking Kracow. It will rip the guts out of the UK’s international industry.
And what will happen then? Banks will collapse – we’ve been here before. Who will bail them out? The government. You can kiss your non-existent £350m a week goodbye, Boris.
And poor old Billy the Grimsby fisherman. Well, now we’re out of the EU, will his quota be higher? Maybe. Will he be able to sell his fish? Shit no. He’ll only be able to sell them in the UK and nobody in the UK will be able to buy them BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL ON THE DOLE.
Of course I’m giving you the extremes here, but seriously, if you think, financially, the UK will be better off outside the EU, you’re bonkers.
And speaking of bonkers…that leads me to Farage. What a vile cunt.
Really, some of you think this man has a point?
The only reason you have for backing this guy is that you’re racist. Don’t try to convince me you’re doing it for the good of your beloved UK. Just say, “I don’t like brown people.” At least have a bit of integrity.
“What we want,” Farage snivels, “Is an Australian-based points system for immigration.” Or something like that. I’m probably paraphrasing.
And while we’re at it, let’s also copy their refugee policy…
The Isle of Wight could be our Manus Island.
Europe is a wonderful place. We’ve spent so long fighting each other (with a few notable exceptions, mostly our fault, btw), that segregation feels like a huge step back. And so what if some of our polices are dictated by Brussels? Would you rather it be down to Cameron and House of Lords? Taking into account all these varying countries and cultures is the world we live in now. Planes fly faster, longer and cheaper. I can Facetime someone on the other side of the world for free. The world is a far smaller place than it used to be.
And the sheer arrogance of the Leave party to consider the UK a global superpower. We’re a tiny little island. We don’t own the world anymore. The Commonwealth is a thing of the past. The Queen is a tourist attraction, nothing more. There will come a time when we will need the help of our European neighbours. To assume we will always have a burgeoning economy is incredibly short sighted.
If you can vote tomorrow, please do. But make sure it’s to Remain.