Liebster Award (again)

You’ve gotta have an image, right? So why not have a low quality screenshot of Gary Cole as Sherriff Buck in 90s classic TV show American Gothic. Not seen it? Get a copy now – it’s wonderful.


Popularity is the cross I must bear.

KMNovels nominated me for the Leibster award. I think I’ve done this before, but I’ll give it another go. I think the questions are different this time. As usual, I nominate no one and every one.

  • What’s your fav book or movie?

Movie: Candyman (seriously, it’s all about the subtext and the soundtrack, people).

Book: Changes from time-to-time. Possibly Patrick Hamilton’s Hangover Square. It’s a beautiful, uplifting, heartfelt romance.*

  • Where’s your dream travel destination?

If I like the look of somewhere, I go there. Right now I’m in Bali. It’s pretty nice.

  • Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yeah, used to keep a daily Livejournal.

Nov 2009

Gemma likes glam.  That’s her ‘thing.’  Glam.  She’s a glam girl.  Don’t think it took her too long to think that little trait up, but she’s still pedalling it even though she just turned thirty.  Anyway, I wasn’t surprised to find she’d dressed as Aladdin Sane for her Halloween party.  Again, I had made no effort to dress up whatsoever.  My excuse was ‘I am usually a goth’ which I used several times over the course of the evening to evening to varying responses. 


So it was about 10:30pm and there were seven people there.  I was being made to feel guilty about smoking inside, so had to hang my arm out of the kitchen window.  Gemma’s new boyfriend, Sean, is Belgian.  He’s twenty-three and he likes to condescend Gemma in front of people. What a catch! There’s a girl called Sue who ‘doesn’t drink much’ and a chubby guy with a broken arm and a beard who keeps talking to me about some Daft Punk live album. You get the picture, right?  So Sean’s berating Gemma for not putting a bottle of 7up in the fridge the correct way around and I’m thinking ‘fucking hell, I need to get out of here.’  The doorbell rings.  A few more dull kids turn up.  I drink far too much beer and manage to steal about a quarter of a bottle of Captain Morgan that’s just lying on the table for the taking. 


Things are always more fun when drunk and I get talking to a nice couple from up north – Dave and Sandy. Sandy, who is an aspiring actress, says to me ‘you exude talent.’  Of course I do.  Then broken arm guy starts making cutting quips and I begin to find him a little funnier. An hour or so later the four of us, Dave, Sandy and Broken Arm have struck up an amazing rapport going.  Maybe this party isn’t so bad after all, I think.  Sofia turns up.  She’s Swedish.  Art student.  Goldsmiths.  She says things like ‘I just love constructivism’ and ‘Oh my god, that’s amasssing.’  She’s aesthetically beautiful.  

Now I watch the dynamic. Sofia fancies Sean and Sean fancies…well…I think Sean fancies me.  I start thinking ‘foursome’, but then that’d mean seeing Gemma naked again and I can’t really get on board with that…

Tere’s more, but it gets a little fruity after that…

  • Which is more important: talent or hard work?

Unfortunately, the ability to bullshit trumps them both.

  • What are you grateful for?

My superb ass.

  • What is next to achieve in your dreams or challenges?

Well, I should really actually try to finish something literary at some point…

  • What type of music do you listen to?

Fucking all of it except reggae and ska (I’m not a racist, it’s just syncopated rhythms irk me). At the moment I’m listening to a lot of jazz. Primarily Charles Mingus and Bill Evans.

  • If you could change something and do it over, what would it be?

If you have regrets, you can never properly move forward.

  • What do you do to relax or blow off steam?

80 push-ups. Blog writing. Piano. Guitar. Scotch.

  • What would you do if you won the lottery?

I would be dead in a week.

  • What’s on your reading list?

Right now, I’m trawling through Len Deighton’s Cold War spy novels. The angry first-person narrative appeals to me. Plus, spies are quite cool.

That is all. Goodbye.

*It’s not really.


  1. Long time listener, first time caller. I love reading your stuff but I have to say, Bali must be making you soft because that whole thing about regrets was uncharacteristically self-help bookish. Please tell me you were being ironic.


    1. Hello there! Originally I wrote something about not fully embracing a threesome back in 2002. I thought it was too sleazy so I took it out. Although, I do sort of believe that stuff about regrets…I think. Plus, I was feeling in a good mood when I wrote the thing (last week – scheduled the post – technology!), so listing a bunch of shit I had done wrong wasn’t really doing it for me then. I do, however, have a rather scathing post about a reiki healer on its way, which should redress the balance!


  2. Looks like a winner to me. No, it doesn´t.

    I once failed to win a Lieber award right after I´d made a space for it in my bulging trophy cabinet and shaken the moths from the double-breasted dinner jacket – my Uncle Archie left me after his testicular operation went wrong – for the ceremony. I spent ages thinking up answers to the questions. The hardest part was thinking up people to seek revenge on by nominating them. I don´t know many people. Why doesn´t that ever surprise anybody?There is a ceremony, isn´t there?


    1. Poor old Mr Liebster. Died in his sleep, I heard. His Will requested his name live on through WordPress blogs. The internet obliged. He’s looking at us now – either from high up or down below, I am not sure which way he went – and he’s saying “I did that.”

      Liked by 1 person

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